Friday, April 22, 2011

How Do You Get Your Own Way?

It is common to have difficulty getting your needs met in dating and relationships. Over time though, we all develop strategies to get them taken care of by our partner. Maybe you pout? Maybe you bribe? Maybe you're a bit more creative?

I'm starting this post because I want you to share how you get the ones you love (or want to) to do things your way.

Leave a comment below (anonymously if you like). Share with us your tips, tricks, and strategies for getting your own way :-)

Time to Participate

I will be discussing some of my favorite influence techniques in the coming weeks. Until then, leave me a comment with yours!


  1. Well I am actually quiet bold and honest. I just say what I want out of a situation. But if I am getting to know a female, meaning I just met her in a club or similar setting and she acts as a "pacer", meaning she feels obliged to pace my in certain things like coming to the bar with me or sitting down somewhere I usually oversell things. I act as if her life would be incomplete if she hasn´t taken a drink at this particular bar with me for example. All said in a playfull funny manner that usually makes her laugh and she then complies. Important is to talk to her emotions and not to convince with logic.

  2. Thanks for the contribution. Two good points:

    1) At the heart of many good influence strategies is a bold and honest statement of what you want out of the situation. If you don't tell your partner what you need (whether in a long-time marriage or a bar first-meeting), then they cannot even choose to comply and help. So, be honest. Know what you need and share it.

    2) Influence isn't always about logic. Too often we can get wrapped up in "convincing" someone else with thoughts and words, when it is emotion that is motivating them. When you're not getting what you need, switch gears and appeal to their emotional side. You may find that a moment of fun, humor, or passion can do what hours of talking cannot accomplish.